Friday, October 19, 2012

random snippetts

Z: I'm never going to sleep again!
Me: Remember, the only way you can get bigger and stronger is if you sleep. If you choose not to sleep, you are choosing not to grow. If you want to be Shrimpy McShorty pants, that's up to you.
Z: I am not SHORT! I am not LITTLE!
Me: Your choice makes it so.
Z: ....What?
Me: Goodnight buddy.
Z: ....Your choice makes it so?...What does that mean?
Me: "You have the power." 
Z: "I have the POWER? What does that MEAN?!"
Me: "Go to sleep and you will find out."
Z: "Well... ok, I'll do it!"

After listening to the boy shriek at the girl (again) for "getting in on HIS side of the car." Exasperated Mum announces: "OK! Lookit! Now you are giving ME your bad mood! Does anyone like it when Mum is in a bad mood!?"
Wide eyed head shakes , "NO!"
"What gives Mum a bad mood?"
"When we don't behaving." Says The Boy.
Girl : Mum. it's not fair to us if you are in a bad mood. Because that makes US be in a bad mood.
Boy: Yeah, not nice for YOU Mum!
Me: Terrific! Now we are in a bad mood vortex. Let's all stay grumpy forever starting now.
"NO!" Giggles.
( I love it when it is that easy. Sometimes I have to resort to singing Opera style.) When I really REALLY want to snap all over their squabbling little screech-faces, if I, instead of yelling, sing my message like her:

Then there is no way they can maintain their fight. My handsome husband does it too. He is even better at it than I am.
We are a noisy, noisy people.

Z: I think If I electrocute butterflies, they will turn into Gremlins.

E: I like throwing frisbies into the wind. it's like playing catch with THE GOD

What is it about the need to poop JUST as we are leaving the house to get the boy to school? It is like some kind pf imbedded reflex.  Just as we are putting on our shoes, and with no time to spare he declares: OOPS! I need to POOP!
after a while..."Hey, buddy, finish pooping. We have to go!"
He responds, shocked, "How do you know I am pooping?  If I flush the toilet while I poop, my bum gets cleaned by flush water and I don't have to wipe.
Why do I poop? If I push really hard when I poop, will it come out my eyes? I feel it in my eyes."
"If I was in the desert, could I eat my poop?" ...

"You are going to have a birthday soon, Z! What would you like to do for your birthday?"
"Play know, and other stuff that I want to do."
"Who do you want to invite?"
"Santa Clause....not the Easter Bunny....OH! but the Tooth Fairy!"
E: "The tooth fairy might want tooth cake."
Z: Maybe not the Tooth Fairy then. But God can come. And Thor and Spiderman. And that's all!

Attention Children:
Coat hangers are NOT boomerangs!
Pot lids are NOT to be used as flying saucers or shields!
The dog is NOT a horse and CANNOT be ridden!
We play piano with our fingers. NOT our feet or heads!
And those little white things with strings attached in Mum's bathroom cabinet? Those are NOT earplugs. And please stop whizzing them around your head by the string and releasing them.
Z: Then what are they for?
E: They are for catching Mum's eggs
Z: WHAT? Mum is not a chicken! Or a Duck!
E: She still has eggs.
Z: Mum is weird.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Some time ago, I was writing about going to the gym and my intentions for being a dangerously healthy individual. I referenced Vladimir Putin.  One should not flippantly state that one wishes to emulate the likes of Vlad. It's a stupid thing to do. Since I voiced my admiration for his physical prowess, he has likely fraudulently won his election, jailed three young feminists for singing a satirical song criticizing him (Pussy Riot). And Voted with China (3 times!) to veto United Nations Sanctions against Syria.

It is chilling  to know that the social activist experiments that I both cooked up and joined in my life could have landed me in jail in Russia. That is something we take for granted: Speaking out, saying whatever we want about whatever we want, pretty much wherever we want to do it. When other countries will jail you or make you disappear. That's not right. There is so much bravery needed to participate in democracy where it is not welcome. And we, here on the biggest platform for free speech mostly fill the airspace with nonsense and hyperbole.
I mean, with Russia, there is a certain amount of grim wierdness to expect, but I was enjoying the badass black trike thing and tranquilizing tigers, martial arts, and saving people from bears or whatever else. It was always a case of: What will Vlad do next?
Well, when you actually take a look at what he is doing...besides leading goose migrations....makes you wonder about ol' Vlady.

"Follow the oil." My Dad tells me. Syria produces about 400 000 barrels a day. That is worth something to somebody.  It is a strategic location. Russia's only Mediterranean Naval defense base is there and a certain 9.8 $ billion dollar soviet era debt was forgiven, and a 4 $ billion dollar a year arms deal happens. Along with heavy investment in energy, infrastructure and tourism.
So.  The west is not going to mess with Russia's bitch. Is that it?  People be damned. It is shocking to see it happen.  For the last year we have all witnessed this uprising and slaughter and...nothing from the U.S. nothing from Europe. So, who else is in Syria? We have China, which voted against sanctions with Russia and is the largest supplier of imports to Syria. In fact, when the U.S. brought down trade with Syria, China upped trade. Big time. Oh. Russia and China kind of hate the U.S. and Western Europe, Brittan etc.
Some sources:

Joseph Sarkisian wrote in the above article in 'The National' about how if the U.S. got overtly involved, it would piss off and ramp up support Bashar al-Assad is already getting from Russia, China, Iran.  Iranian, Iraqi, Turkish, Lebanese, Saudi Arabian and Israeli interests are all at play here too. It is so ugly. And Syrians are totally f*#cked in this. Syria is an arena where these super powers are egging each other on. This battle for freedom that Syrians are so desperately fighting could turn into a global shitstorm if the west gets involved overtly. And there is so much money to be made.

And so Vlad, I can't be your girlfriend anymore.