Zackisms

Z: "Uncle Jason, I love you."
Uncle Jason: "You just love my candy stash."
Z: "It's pretty empty right now."


Z has his training wheels off for good now. We made attempts when he was 3, but he wouldn't stop. What do training wheels have to do with stopping? No one knows.  But now he has figured out stopping and therefore has no training wheels and has immediately moved on to stunting.
He is  riding his bike and picking his feet off the pedals, making weird maneuvers, wobbling dangerously.
Me, riding behind him, "Mr. Lincoln! do not pull stunts while we are riding on the road!"
Z: "I AM NOT STUNTING!" Snarls, growls.
  Me: "Excuse me?"
Z, Exasperated: "These... are... cool... moves." He made sure to say that very slowly so his poor, dim mother could understand.
Z,"Have you ever seen a guy ride his bike up a tree, back-flip it around, jump over a car and not fall off?'
Me, "No"
Z: "I am going to be that guy."
Me, "Just wear your helmet and keep your shoes on."
Z, "OKAY-YUH ...but that's boring"
Me, "What does boring mean, Z?"
Z, "It means I don't want to listen to you."


Eating outside and the crickets are so loud we are almost shouting over them. Dad kind of shorts a circuit and blurts,"I wish these crickets would pipe down!"
They keep cricketing.
E yelps, "Crickets! Be Silent!"
Crickets keep cricketing.
Z bellows, "HEY CRICKETS! WILL YA PIPE DOWN??!!"
Silence.
We all look at Z.
He had the same look on his face as Superman did when he realized he could fly.


"This game is boring!"
"What does boring mean, Z?"
"It means I don't like to loose."

"Get dressed, Z"
"NO! Getting dressed is boring!"
"What does boring mean, Z?"
"It means I want to wear my spider-man suit."

Z running around with socks on his hands, feet and sticking out of his pockets: "I am SOCK GUY!"

At Home Depot looking at paint samples. There is one of those 15 foot stairwell ladders beside us. Z takes off his shoes and socks and pulls a pair of bright pink fuzzy gloves over his feet.
"I am GLOVE ON FEET GUY!"
"Ok, buddy."
Exactly one instant later, "HEY MOM!"
Glove-on-feet-guy has just climbed the 15 foot stairwell ladder and is about to transfer himself to the very top shelf, 15 feet above me."GLOVE ON FEET GUY CAN FLY!"
Everybody in store the collectively gasps. I think someone shrieked. I laser focus on my boy.
Me: "Get...DOWN. 1...2..."
Z: "Okay OKAY! Just don't count!"
Without the power of 1...2... I would have nothing. The threat of what might happen if I get past...3 is Kryptonite for him. For some reason, I have never had to go beyond the 3 and produce anything. Which is good, because there is nothing there. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.



"I want...I wish I had the Carmel-coloured-Gogogon-that-has-white-stripes-that-is square-and-I-don't-know-what-it-turns-into. I wish I had that." This is what we heard on a 45 sec loop for weeks. Any time He remembered that he wanted the Carmel-coloured-Gogogon-that-has-white-stripes-that-is-square-and-I-don't-know-what-it-turns-into, he would not hesitate to remind us. Constantly.

So the day came and they we going to get a toy. They had worked for it and been good for it, and Z was in the midst of a nasty tonsil/belly double whammy, so he was going to go get a toy. When he was at the toy store, he saw a Bumble-Bee Transformer. (And this is where I admit that my husband took a sick kid to a toy store. It builds your immune system, okay? Shut-up.)  Dazzled by the Transformer, he decided to get that instead.
Within a few minutes of playing with this too-complicated toy, Z realizes his mistake.
Tears and heartbreak: "I chose the wrong toy! I CHOSE THE WRONG TOY!"
Me, "You, Z, have buyer's remorse. You were dazzled by the fancy toy, and you forgot about what you really wanted. Remember this, kiddo, this is important stuff."
Z, "I didn't want a horse! I wanted a Carmel-coloured-Gogogon-that-has-white-stripes-that-is-square-and-I-don't-know-what-it-turns-into! You are boring, MUM!"
Me, "What does boring mean, Z?"
Z, "It means I got the wrong toy!"



"This walk is boring!"
"What does boring mean, Z?"
"It means, my feet hurt."

Reading an encyclopedia for kids about atoms, we discover that the nucleus of an atom is like a bean and the atom is a football field and the rest is space. The kids deduct from this that since there is so much space between the nucleus and it's atom, they should be able to run through "solid" objects, like the wall. So they try. And try. I stopped the experiment before concussions, though. Gotta love science!


"This food is boring."
"What does boring mean,Z?"
"It means not really very good."



Z: "When I go to sleep a night, My friend Wolfie comes and gets me and I ride his back all night. Then in the morning, he waits for me in the woods until I sleep again."

I have animal friends in the forest, and if you don't give me a popsicle, I will make them eat you.

Z was mad at Mum and Dad. Mad in the fist clenching snarl-faced way that only a furious 4 year old can be. He is forbidden to use the word "Stupid" and had been sent from the table for calling his food "boring". As he leaves to go to the stairs, positively vibrating in anger, he turns to us and through clenched teeth and squinched eyes he says: "You, you, you....you......PIGGY BALLS!"
Have you ever tried to maintain "Stern Parent Face" Whilst choking with laughter? It hurts.

"The snarlface"

I just wanted to be "Red Hands and Foot Guy..."

What do you mean, "stand normally" This IS my normal!

Mrs. Confuffle, we camped again.

Dearest Mrs. Confuffle,

We have just returned from our  voyage into the mountains and as promised, I have written my yearly letter to you regarding our trip. Do you remember last years accommodations? Well, we have stepped up this year with our lively new pop-up! My dear, there is space for 8, electricity, a little stove and ice box! We brought our espresso machine! Heated mattress pads! What joy. We smiled sympathetically at the unfortunates in their tents, I am sure they appreciated our empathy.
Our children are four and six now and we felt them ready to observe new freedoms around the campsite. Of course this lead directly to them abusing these freedoms, as when our daughter enticed our son to pick a fight with a boy at the playground: A boy older and bigger than our son, and also skilled in karate, as became apparent when he soundly trounced our son and roundhoused his bottom.
To his credit, our dear boy did not come yowling to his parents, but instead, withdrew, had a think, then seemed to ally himself with his former adversary. It is good to know when you are bested, and better to know how to put yourself in the good graces of those who can whollop you. This childhood milestone I observed from a distance, and I am greatly entertained by the social dynamics of unattended children, although I do believe our daughter could one day grow up to be a dictator of sorts.
We are at a stage with our younglings where they are learning about the world: History, culture, geography, race,language, physicality. Everything is an  amazing discovery, and their questions are fast and many and usually delivered at top volume. As when we were canoeing down the Saco river. Along side of us floated a lovely couple, one of whom was very dark skinned. Our boy promptly proclaimed: "That man is BLACK! Like  REALLY BLACK! LOOK! I have never seen such a black, black man!" He was so excited. I smiled what I am sure was a perfectly natural smile.  I waved at the couple and told my son, "Isn't it great that there are so many people who are so many different colors in this world?" My son responded,"Yes, but that man looks like CHOCOLATE! What does he taste like?"  I might add that this couple was within earshot. I answered, "Some people are the colour of chocolate, some are the colour of cinnamon, some the colour of  hotdog buns. People come in all colours. You know that." He  absorbed that information, and we drifted away. Soon enough, their canoe passed ours again and again the boy piped up," HEY! There is that dark, black, chocolate man again!"
I asked my son, "Do you like it when someone points at you and says HEY! LOOK! That kid is little!"
"No!" exclaimed my son. I continued, "People don't like it when other people point at them and say things. It is extremely impolite." I continued," It is ok to notice things. We all notice things, and you may quietly tell me things you notice, but do not speak so loud that the person hears you."  He seemed to consider this."What if I like something, can I say something then?" I smile."That is a compliment and people like to hear those. If you like something about someone, go ahead and say it."
The next time we float by the couple, My dear boy chirps, "It's the dark, black, chocolate man!" And waves. He turns to me. "I like that." He says.
And so, Mrs. Confuffle, our educations continues.

 This year proved to hold a new adventure for our Aber. He must be growing suspicious of the mountains, I fear. Last year abandonment, this year he fell off a small waterfall. Apparently he was following my husband and son across rocks where there were some sizable watershoots, lost his footing and was sucked over. From where I was though, it rather more looked like my husband threw him over, them jumped after him. The gasps from the passers-by certainly seemed to indicate the latter. My husband claimed that when the dog started to go over, he had to release the leash and hoped Aber would pop up on the other side. When he didn't, my husband valiantly threw himself after him. And promptly landed on top of the poor beast, who was not stuck under a roiling pool, but in fact clinging to the edge of the rock face, being pummeled by the  falling water. Seeing my dog and husband leap over that falls was terrifically exciting to my son, who let out a whoop of excitement and seemed perched to join them, and I made a dash across the rocks to stop him. That is when I heard a shriek and saw my daughter, who had been defiantly testing her abilities (-and my patience, I might add) that day, fell in herself. Just into a pool, but still. All this danger and excitement led me to unleash a most vehement sounding, "Jesus Christ!!" And all the observers gasped again.

Nearing the end of our trip, after hiking to the tallest waterfalls in the state, climbing down gorges, swimming and paddling down the river,and visiting historic sites on top of Mount Washington, My husband developed bronchitis and pneumonia, which defaulted me into packing us up solo and hauling us home. A rather exciting first, as I had not had the chance to tow the pop-up. Yet I made it home without having to back it up. As the sick convalesced the next day after doctor visits, I decided it was time to practice backing up the trailer, which I can now do rather well although during my trails, I did back it up through my garden. Once or twice.We had too much lettuce anyway.

I do hope you consider coming with us next year, Mrs. Confuffle. You would find camping with the Lincolns to be filled with limitless potential for adventure!
Regards,
Mrs. K. Munday Lincoln

Atathrusa Falls

Trying to give an idea of how steep the gorge trail was-Very steep.

Cathedral Ledge

Mt. Washington cog railway

Mt. Washington-windiest place on earth!

Lake of the clouds as seen from the top of Mt. Washington

swimmers

Summer begins!

Yes, we got a pop-up. Go ahead, make fun, have your laughs, call us wimps, call us domesticated. We already have matching cruiser bikes, so this is the obvious next step in gentile camping. Now I have to practice backing up trailers. I will conquer! Nothing says "camping fun" Like a back-the-trailer-up for the first time screech match. My handsome Husband had his turn, now it is mine.

So of course our first trip was met with BUCKETS of rain. But hey! We got a pop-up, so we don't care!

Can't play Monopoly in a tent in the rain. But you can in a Pop-up! By the way, Mr. 1% over there totally creamed me, what with his utilities and railroads.Just look at his plotting, 1% face.

And because we didn't want our game infiltrated by the sticky fingers of the masses, we subjugated them with cartoons. OH YEAH! Cartoons and camping. Can't do that in a tent.

1

The face of a child who is usually totally deprived of shows. A bit scary, actually.

Our neglected garden...But if we just cut down a few more trees, we can make a huge mess and distract ourselves further from the planting process. But now we do have lots of nice sun in the garden zone.

And an awesome temporary gym/fort for kids and dog.

Personal packing lists, because we are going camping again...in the Pop-up!

We started the kids out on a 6 miler, up to a fire tower in Pawtuckaway State Park, huge boulders to scramble on.

Just because we are in the woods does not mean one should compromise one's fashion integrity.   ;) M2

Dad & the kids. When things got tiresome for the kids, a lively game of "BAD GUY" kept their minds off the fact that we had been walking uphill for an hour.

The destination! Also known as the good guy headquarters.

The feeling of making it to the top. Pretty cool.

These kids had enough gumption to go kayaking & snorkeling after the 6 miler.

Camping is better with friends. Our buddies and their kids met us and happy chaos ensued.

Girls and their Fairy house.

E on her way to Kindergarten celebration

Oh       so         FANCY!

E with the most fabulous Mrs. Chenette

Zac was there for the goodies.

School friends.

Picture update!

We don't really fit, but we don't really care about those middling details.

First lost tooth!

I am seeing a little 80's style synth band in Z these days...

...because when we come back from a hike, we always pull our pants down for the last mile, then leave them down.

This machine is called "The Rainbow Rikker."  It is a spaceship and also offers protection from trolls, giants and Mums. Capt. Z is the only one that can make it work and if you touch it, it will make you fart forever.

Movie Night! E invited all of her pals and cannot smile without including the tooth-gap. By the way, if you ever wondered what the tooth fairy does with your teeth, She grinds them into blocks to build fairy things with, and the leftover dust is used to sprinkle on kids for good dreams. A little creepy, but there you have it. She's my girl.

Oh sweet peach blossoms

apple blossoms!

Origami craft time

Mother's day spread. Pretty awesome family I have.