Monday, March 7, 2011

A while ago the kids and I were driving somewhere and the two of them were squabbling which turned into calling each other names. They got pretty inventive with this and I was entertained listening to Emma's rhyming insults ("you're a bell smell well!") and Zac's made up ones, ("You're a bizzblank CHA, Emma!") So I let them have at it for a while when Zac came out with this one:
 "You're a damnit, Emma!" To which Emma ratted, "Mom! Zac said a word on the No Say List!
The No Say List is exactly what it sounds like: An ever-growing list of words and phrases that we are not allowed to say for obvious reasons.  The No Say List is serious and we live by its constitution.
Well, Zac was told that we do not say words on the No Say List, and I lecture them about calling people names. Not to each other, not anybody else. It is rude. It makes people feel sad to be called a name etc etc.
Emma says, "But what about the ones you call focks?"
Me: "Urr, what do you mean? You mean clucks...?'
"No, Mum NOT clucks. Focks. With a FFFFF."
Me, stalling. "When do I do that? I don't remember that..."
Emma: "You do it to cars when they do something you don't like! You say, "way to go Focks" or "You bunch of Fuxes!"  THAT is on the no say list and you say it!"
Zac: "Ya maam! You say it. You go in Time Out! You bad Mum!"
Emma: "Yeah Mum, that is really bad. You make the other cars feel bad and you are not nice to do that. I am going to give you 5 more chances and if you say any more words on the No Say List I am not going to let you in my room for the REST OF THE DAY!"
Me; "Oh, well , OK then...."
Them: "You better say sorry Mum.". "Yeah, Mum. You say sorry! You Bad!"
Me: "Sorry, sorry..."
Them: "Not to us Mum, to the CARS!"
So I had to apologize to all the cars at the next stoplight for being rude and calling their bretheren names.
I went from casual bytander to lecturing moralizer to sinner in need of pennance just like that, and the kids went from attacking each other to uniting as a self righteous party united against a common foe. Human nature, you're a damnit. 

1 comment:

  1. Have I mentioned that you're amazing lately?! This made me laugh so hard.