Friday, January 13, 2012

Sometimes Mom, always Dad

"Sometimes Mom, Always Dad"
Anyone ever felt second best? My darling daughter doesn't hesitate to inform me about the family hierarchy as she sees it. Dad is AT THE TOP, then there is a long space, then I come in there somewhere. At any chance to compare, I will be informed of my status: "I am American, like DAD and you are...not. I was born in Maine just like DAD and you were...not. I like what DAD likes.  DAD is stronger than YOU, mom. DAD can fix things better than YOU, mom. DAD likes to play Zelda with me more that YOU do, mom. DAD takes us out to dinner, DAD takes us to the movies, DAD lives in hotels and when we visit, we get to go swimming. YOU just live at home, mom." Even though I am present at these fun things too, just apparantly invisible.

When E was an infant, I looked up her Chinese astrological sign. Disclaimer: I do not logically believe this stuff, but somehow it has an effect anyway.
It says of the Dog, E's sign:  Frequently cynical, they are feared for their sharp tongue and their acid and disagreeable remarks. They give the impression of looking systematically for faults in everything they touch. This is because they are the world's biggest pessimist and expects nothing out of life.
It also told me that as an Ox, I can expect a lifelong uphill battle with my Dog child.
So maybe when my lovely daughter looks at me and says,"You know mom, I do love dad more than you, I just wanted to let you know that." I can rest assured that this type of thing will probably go on forever.
Good thing I have no time for bunk like that. (right, self? right?)

That is,until she gets an ouchie, or she is scared, or wants a mind story, or food, or wants to play music, or sing, or do crafts, or learn to sew, or read a book, or play dress-up or make leggo worlds, or is sick, or scared, or worried. But as she says, when I point this out to her:"But that is just what you do mom, you are mom." I am like the ground she walks on. Just there. Always. It is totally natural she takes me for granted because there has never been a time where I haven't been exactly where she needs me. Daddy comes and goes. Sometimes we go weeks and weeks without him. Of course he is magic. When he comes home it is always a celebration.

I have to show E pictures of the things we do so she can see we actually have fun together.

Come on! I am awesome! We take puppets on walks! We stomp through icy puddles! We go visit Daddy at hotels! We make chicken masks!

"Ok..." Says E, "But Daddy is still better."


  1. You are the world's best mom. Throughout the history of momdom, there has never been a mom as fantastic as you. 5 1/2 and almost 4 year olds are notoriously bad at recognizing this. However, I reckon in about 20+ years you will be heralded as the Queen you have always been!

  2. Hey, I must be super protective you, my dear friend, because when I hear that I just want to send little Miss E to the corner to think about why she can't be so mean to you and to not come out until she is ready to be kind and respectful to the amazing woman who gave her life! Yeesh! (do I sound like one of those psycho Mom's who scolds other people's kids at the playground? I am not, I swear!)

  3. PS I love the way you tell a story and I love your crazy offspring too!